Storytelling for Week 2: Semele

The house lights came up and the crowd began to roar. Everybody in the audience was ready for some good, old-fashioned paternity test drama. The Jerry Springer show played out in nearly the same way episode after episode, but viewers and audience members didn’t seem to care. They continually ate all the nonsense and craziness up.

Jerry Springer, the host of the esteemed television show, walked out and gave an opening monologue much like the one he’d given the day before. “Hello ladies and gentlemen!” he said. “Today, we have with us Juno, who claims that there is no way that her husband of many years, Jupiter, is the baby daddy to another woman!”

With this, all sorts of hoots and hollers erupted from the crowd. After giving the people a moment to get it out of their systems, Jerry quieted the audience down and turned to Juno, who was seated on stage with him. “Juno,” Jerry offered, “Tell us your story.”

Juno proceeded to explain her marriage with Jupiter. After some questioning, Juno did admit that her husband had a bit of a wandering eye. “Even though I know he looks at other women, he loves me! The thought that he could be the father of Semele’s child infuriates me. It makes me sick! He is much too powerful and good for someone like her! He’s completely out of her league. I came here today to get some answers and shut her up about the whole thing, once and for all!” Juno said, rising from her seat in a fit of rage.

With that, Jerry invited out Semele. The crowd booed. “So, Semele,” Jerry began, “You’re very pregnant. There’s no questioning that fact, but what we can question here is who that father of this child is.” The crowd started a baby daddy chant which neither Juno or Semele seemed amused by. “Jupiter is the father,” Semele insisted. “I’ve come here today to set this straight.”

Juno sighed dramatically from her chair across the stage. “Do you know how many men claim to be something they’re not? Who wouldn’t claim to be Jupiter?” she asked, her tone filled with contempt. “Men will say whatever they need to say to get what they want, and I’ve very suspicious of this whole thing. It’s not good enough for him merely to say he is Jupiter, we must have proof of this!” exclaimed Juno. 

By this point, the audience was out of control. A crew member walked out and handed Jerry an envelope with paternity test results. “In this case,” Jerry began dramatically, “Jupiter…IS the father!” Semele had asked for proof and now she had received it, but this news was more than her body could handle. All of the excitement sent her into delirium, which led to her having a stroke and dying an unfortunate and untimely death.

(Talk show audience, Wikimedia Commons)

Author's Note: I chose to base my retelling on Ovid's story of Semele. In the original, Juno is furious that her husband Jupiter has impregnated Semele. To get back at Semele, she disguises herself, goes to Semele, and convinces Semele that she must ask for Jupiter to unleash his powers on her to prove that he is really what he says he is. When Semele asks Jupiter to do this, he obliges, but his godly powers are much too powerful for her to withstand and she dies. Basically, the whole story is about jealously, possible mistaken identity, and possible paternity issues. This made me think of the Jerry Springer Show (my greatest guilty pleasure in life) right off the bat. I didn't really know how to kill of Semele in my retelling, but I decided that it was only right that the proof she asked for was the thing that killed her.

Bibliography:

Book: Metamorphoses 

Author: Tony Kline (Translated Ovid's original into english)

Year Published: 2000

Web Source: Ovid's Metamorphoses